


Biting Remarks

by Daphnean



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fat Shaming, Fluff and Angst, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8144744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daphnean/pseuds/Daphnean
Summary: Insecurity is always hard to swallow, whether your boyfriend is a celebrity or not.





	

You can hear Kyungsoo outside the door, likely fumbling with the lock. Stretching as you stand, you pad over to it, opening it before he does, just so you can enjoy that adorable look on his face when his eyes go wide in surprise. You cock your hip against the wall, smiling comfortably. “You’re early.”

He answers with a kiss, fingers along your jaw. You can smell his cologne, the one with a spicy bite to it that Sehun gave him for Christmas last year. Apparently he bought more of it, since you offhandedly commented on how much you liked it on him. Kyungsoo always graces you with tiny little gifts in what he remembers; how he shows you he pays attention to the details in your relationship. Whether it’s through remembering to wrap a blanket around you while you cuddle on the couch (as he knows how cold you get, no matter how much snuggling you two accomplish) or just keeping his shoes neatly arranged in the entry; he never forgets.

You’re thankful for the time; the hallway outside is empty, allowing you the luxury of him kissing you so candidly like this. After a moment he pulls back, finally coming all the way inside, closing the door behind him.

“Filming ended early, surprisingly.” He’s already pulling his ballcap off to run his fingers through his thick hair.

You replace his touch with your own, smoothing his hair before hanging his cap on the hook near the door for him. “You never texted back what you wanted for dinner, or I would have gone shopping already.”

It was part of your “headachingly domestic” routine, as Chanyeol put it. While you didn’t hate going out, the act required a lot of planning on both of your parts to arrange. Neither one of you is the most social of creatures, so most nights you just stay in. Recently you’ve been playing Overwatch with him and Baekhyun, if you’re not watching movies. Either way, you couldn’t imagine enjoying yourself more by going out. If you play video games, you get to see Kyungsoo exasperated with rage, usually chewing out Baekhyun with all the creative swears he never gets to use in show recordings. On movie nights, you’re pressed close together, Kyungsoo’s low, smooth voice commenting softly during the slow moments about the acting or the angles of the shots; reminding you of his passion, another of the endless things you love about him.

Save for the visits when Kyungsoo is too tired, too stressed from work, the one activity you always do is prepare a meal together. It isn’t just a part of his stage persona, his love of cooking, but something you both enjoy when you can manage. He texts you a link to a recipe, or you text one to him, and you make the grocery list for later. Despite it never bothering you, he always apologizes for you having to go and get all of the ingredients alone. In return, he usually tidies what little in the apartment you haven’t gotten to and prepares the kitchen for whatever you’re making.

Once, while putting laundry away for you, he left a note on a particular bra and panty set, leaving it on your bed for you to discover when you got home from your shopping trip to change. Heeding his request to wear it for him that night, he proceeded to make it worth your while; coming up behind you as you did the dishes, peppering down your neck with breathy kisses, hands on your hips as he huskily requested to see how good they looked on you.

With surprises like this commonplace when he cleans up for you, you hardly can complain about shopping alone.

He pauses for a moment, shrugging off his jacket, before replying, “Part of the reason we finished early, no breaks really where I could. I think the hotpot recipe sounds perfect.”

Luckily, you’re already dressed to go out. Now it’s your turn to put on your jacket, not wanting to waste any more time with him. Before you can slip on your shoes, he steals another kiss, this one a bit more lingering than the last, the plush of his lips feeling like home against your own. You can taste his chapstick, this time; cool mint contrasting the heat of your breath.

“I missed you.” He continues, zipping up your coat for you. “It’s starting to get cold, so wear a scarf.”

You teasingly nip his lip. “Like you did on your way here?”

He pinches your side as he pulls away. “I didn’t grab one this morning, but your closet is right there.”

“No sense of forethought,” you mutter teasingly, this time receiving a playful swat on the ass in response. You can literally feel his grin as you let out an embarrassingly high pitched squeak in return.

You grab a scarf from the closet, like you intended from the moment he suggested it, and are rewarded with one last kiss. Kyungsoo has commented he tries to remember all of the times he wants to kiss you and can’t, storing them up for later when he can catch up. You’re never going to get sick of the attention, of the soft warmth of his mouth.

Wrapping it around your neck, he keeps you close, one hand protectively on your hip. “Stay safe, darling.”

Reveling in his embrace, his kiss a moment longer, you have to remind yourself that you have shopping to do and you don’t want to waste any more time. Finally you pull away, calling back softly that you’ll be home soon.

Shopping, particularly for groceries, can be rather frazzling for you at times. With nearly everyone in the store either in a hurry or caught up in their own thoughts, unaware of their surroundings, it always feels like a test of your patience to manage the task, even if your motivation is Kyungsoo back at your apartment, glasses slipping down his nose and sleeves rolled up as he looks at the recipe on his phone.

You’re not even paying attention, too busy comparing prices on mushrooms when you hear your name. Looking up, you see a former coworker, obviously just off from work, basket on her arm as she walks over to you. It has been almost a year since you’ve seen her, and with a quick embrace you exchange greetings. You weren’t really that close, but she never seemed to let that stop her from acting as if she had a say in your life.

“Have you been well?” Immediately she’s in for the kill, words like a knife placed to your throat. “Perhaps a bad breakup? You’ve put on quite a bit of weight and there’s so much bloating around your face. I’ve been trying a new face cream that could help with that a bit.”

You feel like she’s broken the skin, the words you were about to say pooling like blood around your feet. Lately, you’ve been too afraid of the scale to even pull it out from beneath the sink. Your favorite jeans have been a bit too tight as well, but you’ve been carefully pushing that thought aside, focusing on work, the book you’ve been reading, or texting with your wonderful boyfriend.

The whole supermarket feels like a courtroom, the people passing by never looking at you, but their judgment is still pressing in on you from all sides. Your attacker is still talking, taking your silence as interest as she starts giving you beauty tips.

Somehow, you stumble your way through the conversation, making some vague promise about catching up with her sooner next time before she leaves you alone in the produce. You feel so much colder, even with your scarf on, grabbing one of the packages of mushrooms without really looking at it as you make your way to register. Luckily, it was the last ingredient you didn’t already have at home.

No one on the way back to your apartment seems to notice that you’re wounded, but you suppose all they’d see is how overweight you are. Your thoughts are a beehive, irritated and swarming. How much have you really gained? Have you really been eating so poorly? And the one thought that seems to be a repeated blow to the gut, your chest, is what does Kyungsoo think? Does he think you’re letting go; too comfortable in your relationship? Do the other members tease him for dating a fat girl? Your inner thoughts are vultures. They’re picking the bones clean.

You can hear him humming in the kitchen when you finally make it inside. You set your purchases on the ground briefly as you remove your scarf and jacket, hyperaware of your belly pushing over your waistband. You nearly trip over your shoes in your daze.

Bags back in hand, you come into the kitchen, Kyungsoo’s back to you as he pulls spices down from the cabinet. You love the broad of his back in a long-sleeved black tee shirt, the way his heather gray sweatpants cling to his strong thighs. Without the Photoshop and the stage lights, here in the cheap fluorescents of your tiny kitchen, he still looks like someone who belongs on stage.

You can feel the break coming, your eyes stinging but the onions are still in your bag. Your knuckles are white on the handles as you watch him lower back onto his feet fully (he grumbles often that your cabinets are too high) and turns to face you.

For once, you wish he wasn’t so observant. His brows crease instantly, his lips a tight line as whatever greeting he had for you is crushed between them. He crosses the distance to you quickly, standing in front of you, gaze as sharp as the knives he has already lined up on the counter.

“What happened?” He keeps his tone soft, aware of your fragility.

You don’t know if you’re capable of words, and your eyes keep jumping around the room. You see the pot on the stove, the warmth in his eyes, a dishtowel near the sink that’s starting to fray along the seam.

“Darling.” His voice is softer now, and he takes one of the bags from your too-tight grip. “Talk to me, please.”

“I’m fat.” The words hemorrhage out, you want to put your hands over your mouth, but you also want to use them to cover your belly, as if that could hide it away.

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows dance in response; a jump in surprise at your words, a furrow of confusion until they bow down lower towards the frame of his glasses, but he stays quiet. Unless quipping a witty remark, he tends to take his time in choosing his words, citing it keeps him from the awkward gaffes that plague his industry when people speak too quickly.

You’re thankful he isn’t going to say anything that will make this worse, but you don’t know what can make this any better. The hive is swarming so loudly now it drowns out the pulse in your ears.

“You are also kind.” He speaks softly, slowly, and you don’t jump in and interrupt his thoughts. “A loyal daughter and friend. You have many talents, work hard, and aspire to grow as a person.”

Compliments are nice, and you know Kyungsoo is not one to lie, but your thoughts are screaming and he speaks so softly. The tears spill, hot against your cheeks. His thumbs brush over them as he continues.

“Your smile can eclipse the sun. Your eyes brighter still. I like your hair…and I like the swell of your belly. You eat well with me, fit well with me, no matter how much space you take up. Maybe to this world, you are fat…but I don’t believe that word takes anything away from what you are, besides now, when it has stolen your joy.”

You close your eyes, the words leaving you before you can think better of them. “You work with-”

“That does not make them more beautiful. Beauty is not defined by words like that. It…radiates. It is deeper than words. It is a feeling, intimate and personal. I can tell you what I like about you, but the fact you are beautiful is just something I know.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” He lets you finish your thoughts, thumbs still stroking your cheeks. “I’m always insecure, but an old coworker…it isn’t like I didn’t know.”

He kisses you then, on your nose. “Do you feel attractive?”

“Not…not lately.” You feel even more ashamed, admitting this, as if it means he doesn’t love you enough, dipping your chin towards your chest.

“I’ll be here when you feel it again.” He makes you look up at him, a light pressure to lift your head. “I’ll be here when you forget again. I will remind you of what I can, but this is something you will have to find in yourself. I believe in you, darling. I’m sorry I can’t kiss you into feeling beautiful again.”

You don’t have an epiphany in your kitchen about your looks, your weight. Still, he’s stitched the wound closed without a needle, pulling you back together. It’s going to take time to fight off all the thoughts buzzing about in your head, but you don’t doubt he’ll be by your side. And that, that speaks more of your beauty than any near stranger in a supermarket could.

“I don’t want to stop eating your wonderful meals.” You finally find your voice is steady, even again as you break the brief silence.

His smile, open and heart-shaped, warms you like a mug of warm tea on a cool night. “And I don’t want to stop cooking with you. Let’s eat well, tonight.”

You kiss him, hand on his cheek like you need a reminder that he’s real, that he’s right in front of you. “I have ice cream we can have for dessert.”

He hums against your lips in response. “Mmm. No dirty talk till we’re in the bedroom.”

That startles a laugh from you, even if your cheeks feel sticky from crying and the other grocery bag is still heavy in your grip. “I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.” Kyungsoo pulls back, taking the bag from your hands and setting it on the counter, before moving to wash his hands.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not my usual fare, I'm more than aware, but this idea was so stuck with me that I actually wrote the whole piece out. Kyungsoo has repeatedly made comments about how his favorite thing on a person is their smile or that he likes girls that eat. The latest interview I saw discussing this, he specifically was asked what words a girl could say to him that made him happy and his response was her talking about how good their meal was. This sort of talk I think is so beautiful and important, especially as someone who struggles with her body image and weight. So this little idea bloomed and I let it grow a little out of control, but maybe it will help someone. My roommate cried while reading it too, so...enjoy!
> 
> EXO and all other Kpop entertainers presented here are real people and so I remind you that this is just a fic, like a play with their stage personas as the actors. This is not intended to be a representation of who these men and women are or are not. Remember to love and respect them always. And thanks for reading! <3


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